All I Want Read online

  I’ve never heard of a murderer who also cares deeply for the environment.

  I glance around the patio, looking for inspiration. Nolan squeals when Luke tosses him into the deep end, and it hits me.

  “Knight. Tyler Knight. Okay?” I keep my voice steady as he studies me. Ben, and everyone else needs to stay the hell out of this. If he wants to look somebody up in his database, he can look up this guy.

  He nods, buying my lie. “All right. Just don’t do anything stupid with this guy, like go home with him or something.”

  I tilt my head, motioning toward my very pregnant best friend who is chatting up Reed. “Really? You did not just say that to me.”

  He laughs and puts his arm over my shoulder as we walk to the food table. “Just be careful, okay? I won’t be there to size up this guy, so I’m relying on Reed and Luke to do it for me.”

  I pull away from him, looking from the pool back to Ben. “What? Luke isn’t going to be there. He never goes to the summer bonfires.”

  Never. I couldn’t pay him to go to one last year.

  “He’ll be at this one.”

  My anxiety level spikes in my blood. Not that I wouldn’t mind making Luke jealous at this thing, but knowing him, he would probably just ruin my chances of getting laid.

  Payback for the wedding.

  Turning around, I glare down at Luke as he comes up from out of the water, running his hands through his hair and then over his face. My eyes narrow in on his chest, my favorite body part of his, and the T he got tattooed last summer after we’d only been together for a month. He’d played it off at the time, pointing to all the other tattoos that covered his body, and telling me that he was the king of rash decisions—getting my initial wasn’t really a big deal. But it had to be. I’d never get someone’s initial tattooed on me unless I knew, without a doubt, that they were my forever.

  I remember being completely transfixed by it, running my fingers over the outline while listening to his seemingly practiced explanation. And when he tried to lessen the magnitude of the gesture, I swore I saw something in his eyes. A hidden declaration, concealed by fear or uncertainty.

  You can be permanent too, if you want to be.

  Jesus. How fucking stupid was I back then? I should’ve taken his words to heart instead of interpreting them in a way he obviously didn’t mean. Like that tattoo, I was just another rash decision. Not a big deal. Something he could easily black out if he wanted to.

  I lift my eyes and see his trained on mine, which I’m not at all prepared for. Luke doesn’t just look at you. He gets inside your head and roots himself there, overtaking every thought and making everything around you that isn’t him seem insignificant. Those crazy eyes of his are enthralling. Amber, like the color of a sunrise. I’ve never seen anything like it. Men shouldn’t have such beautiful eyes. They shouldn’t have beautiful anything. But Luke…

  “Hey, loser.” Reed’s voice snaps me back into reality and tears my gaze from the guy I shouldn’t have been staring at in the first place. But he was staring at me too. Wasn’t he? I glance once more at the pool but Luke’s back is to me as he plays with Nolan. “I’m gonna head out.”

  I turn my attention back to Reed. “What? No, you’re not. Mia hasn’t even opened her gifts yet.”

  “And?” he asks, pulling out his phone and messing with it. “Your mom thinks I’m some chick, apparently. I’d rather get the hell out of here before she has me on dish duty.”

  I step into him, and jab my finger against his chest. “You’re not going anywhere. Not until Mia opens her gifts.” I turn my head, seeing Mia and Ben talking with a few of my cousins. Reed tries to move past me but I slam my hand against his chest and halt him mid-step.

  “Hey, Mia! Let’s open your gifts now and then we’ll play some games.”

  She acknowledges me with a smile and hands her plate off to Ben before beginning to walk over.

  Reed drops his head so that his face is in my hair. “I’m not playing any fucking baby games,” he firmly whispers.

  I glare up at him. “You’re playing all of them. Or did you forget two weeks ago when I pretended to be your wife to get that chick away from you at McGill’s?” The memory returns to him and he drops his head in defeat, uttering a muffled curse.

  Reed is notorious for picking up girls at bars around Ruxton. He never seems to have any difficulty either. But two weeks ago, he met a major clinger at McGill’s who started talking about how she believed in love at first sight. Or more specifically, love at first sight with Reed. He’d texted me to bail him out when she wouldn’t pick up on the uninterested vibe he was throwing her way. So I’d swooped in, begging him to not give up on our marriage, and put on a good show for everyone watching.

  He didn’t get laid that night, but he also didn’t wind up with a Grade A-stalker.

  I tap him on his shoulder and he lifts his head. “Yeah, you owe me. I’m still disinfecting my mouth out from that kiss.”

  “You liked it,” he states, the smile he reserves only for women, returning. I’m sure that works on the general population of Alabama, but it’ll never work on me. Reed is permanently in the friend zone, where he belongs. I adore him, but strictly in the “I have no desire to see you naked” sort of way.

  I push him toward the house. “You wish. Go grab me a notepad from inside.”

  He walks away laughing as Mia joins my side. “Ready?” she asks, her smile contorting as she holds on to her belly. I tense, looking over at Ben and then back at her. She shakes her head and blows out a breath forcefully. “Indigestion. I’ve been getting it a lot lately.”

  I relax my shoulders, grabbing her hand and walking to the gift table. “Please wait until after the shower to have the baby. My mom will lose her shit if you don’t get to eat the cake she slaved over all morning.”

  She sits in the lawn chair I’ve decorated with streamers and balloons, her maternity dress stretching across her belly. “Oh, I’m definitely eating that cake, even if I have to take it with me to the hospital.”

  I grab the gift that was delivered a few days ago. “Do you want to open your aunt’s gift first?”

  She takes the gift from me, and places it in her lap, sighing. “I really wish she could’ve been here for this. I love that all your family is here, but… I don’t know. It would just be nice if she was here too.” Her eyes lose focus as she clutches the gift.

  Mia’s aunt works weekends and didn’t have enough vacation time to take off for this, and the actual delivery. I know it kills her to not have the one connection to her mother here, but she’s always kept her sadness hidden for the most part. Until now.

  I bend down, resting my hand on hers and bringing my face to her level. “I’m sorry she couldn’t be here. But she’s definitely coming when you have the baby. There’s no way she’s going to miss that.” Mia smiles, nodding. “Are you ready to start?”

  She looks over my shoulder. “Nolan. Do you want to help me open my presents?”

  “Oh, yeah!” he yells behind me.

  I straighten as Reed comes over with a notepad and pen, holding it out to me. “This first gift is from Mia’s aunt,” I tell him, ignoring the task he’s trying to pass off.

  He frowns, looking down at the notepad and then back at me. “Seriously? You’re making me do this?”

  “Aww, thanks, Reed. That’s so sweet of you,” Mia says with a huge deliberate grin.

  He moves to stand next to me, mumbling some response under his breath and he flips the notepad open.

  “Here, buddy. Let me dry you off a little.” Ben wraps Nolan up in a towel, rubbing it over his wild hair. I see Luke emerge out of the water in my peripheral vision, but my eyes decide they want more than just a glimpse. My head turns to fully engage him when movement over his shoulder grabs my attention. My cousin Leah, who was firmly planted in a lawn chair on the other side of the pool moments ago, is now standing by a small table, covered in beach towels, readying one for Luke.

 
“No fucking way.” I’m moving before I even realize it, marching directly at my slutty cousin and beating Luke to the table. We don’t see much of each other. She’s only in town for the week, and we’ve always been friendly, but I will drop kick her in those fake tits if she thinks she has a chance here.

  I snatch the towel out of her hands and take in her startled reaction. “What are you doing?”

  She looks past me, seemingly in Luke’s direction, and then returns her gaze to me. “I’m being hospitable. Give me that.”

  “Hospitable? Give me a break. You just want to towel him off.”

  She licks the corner of her mouth, resituating her tube top so more of her silicon-enhanced cleavage is on display. “Who wouldn’t? And what do you care, anyway? You said you two broke up.”

  I step closer, backing her up against the table. “You don’t make a play for somebody’s ex unless they give you the go ahead first, Leah. What the fuck is wrong with you? Go after Reed. He’s single.”

  She leans back against me, pushing me off a bit. “I’ve been down that road, remember? Two summers ago, when I visited with my dad? Reed’s wild, and I would definitely be up for another round with him, but he made it perfectly clear then that he doesn’t double dip.” She grabs another towel. “Now, if you don’t mind…”

  “I do mind,” I interject, sidestepping so she can’t walk past me. Leah towers over my five-foot, three-inch frame, but I will go buck on her ass right in front of everyone here if she goes against the number one rule of girl code.

  She lifts her gaze from my face, and immediately paints on her most engaging smile as she connects with someone behind me. And by the look of her, I don’t need to turn around to know who it is.

  “Oh, hi, Luke. I’m Leah. Here you go.”

  She holds the towel out and I grab it before he does and shove both of the ones I’m now holding against his dripping chest. “Here,” I snarl up at him. “Do us all a favor and put a shirt on after you dry off.”

  “Or don’t,” Leah adds behind my back.

  Luke grabs the towel, brushing his wet hand against mine, and lingers on my face before he looks past me at Leah. And then either because he’s interested, which I wouldn’t put past him—she’s decent looking, and he’s into anything with a mouth—or because I’m standing here and he wants to get to me, he smiles his overplayed and highly alluring playboy smile and steps closer to her, boxing me out.

  “What did you say your name was again?”

  “Leah. I’m Ben’s cousin.”

  And apparently not mine. Nor is she a friend, for pulling this shit.

  She holds out her hand for him to shake, and I’m suddenly glued to the pavement, unable to move or speak as the two of them obnoxiously flirt with each other. I think I hear Mia and Reed calling my name, but I can’t be sure. Because right now, all of my energy is focused on the fucked up situation unfolding in front of me.

  “So, you’ll still be here next Saturday? You should come to the bonfire. I’ll be there.” Luke turns and briefly glances at me, making sure I’ve heard what he’s just said.

  Yeah. I fucking heard it.

  “Oh, awesome! I’ll definitely be there.” Leah digs into her clutch and pulls out a pen. “Let me give you my number and maybe we can hang out before then.”

  I don’t think, I just move. Grabbing onto Luke’s elbow, I pull him away from my desperate cousin and the pen she’s offering, dragging him toward the house. I hold my hand up to Mia, silently telling her to give me a moment, and she answers me with a sympathetic smile. Luke goes willingly with me, through my parents’ house and down the hallway to the bedrooms. I open the door to my old room and shove him inside, slamming the door shut behind me.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I ask, as he straightens up and glares at me. I step closer, bringing us only a foot apart. “Are you seriously going to make a play for my cousin? That’s screwed up on so many levels.”

  He tosses the towels onto the bed before coming forward. I instinctively step back but he moves with me, stepping closer until my back is against the door. He flattens his hands on the wood beside my head, closing in on me.

  He’s so intimidating. Everything about Luke screams predator, from his size to his tattoos, but he’s never scared me. Even though he’s towering over me, keeping me right where he wants me, and taking away any and all personal space I have, I don’t feel threatened.

  I feel something I’ve been trying to block out for twelve months.

  He drops his head, bringing us to eye level. “I’ll make a play for whoever the fuck I want. Your cousin’s hot, and clearly into me, so why the hell shouldn’t I have some fun with her?”

  “Because she’s my cousin, asshole. You don’t see me lurking around your family tree.”

  “No. You’re too busy looking for dick on the Internet, like a dumbass,” he snarls, brushing his nose against mine.

  He’s so close to me, his damp, taut body, skimming against the front of mine, teasing me with the slightest bit of contact. I have to grip the bottom of my shorts to keep myself from grabbing him. From pulling him completely against me. From touching his… holy shit.

  “Luke,” I pant, letting my eyes take in the hard-on that’s pressing against the front of his bathing suit. Why is he hard right now? Is it the fact that he’s practically on top of me? Is it because I’m half-naked myself? Or is it… fucking piece of shit.

  I palm his crotch and he grits his teeth, hissing into a moan. Twisting my wrist, I get a better hold before I squeeze. Hard.

  “Is this for her?” I challenge, glancing up and meeting his feral stare.

  Say yes, and I’m walking out of here with this.

  He swallows, dropping one hand, but not the unnerving look he’s giving me. He tugs at the drawstring of my shorts. “Did you see me watching you when I was in the pool? When you were staring at me?”

  “Yes,” I answer, hearing the sudden thickness in my throat distort my voice.

  “Then don’t ask me stupid questions.” He flattens his palm against my stomach before sliding it down the front of my shorts and into my bikini bottoms.

  Oh, fuck, yes.

  I moan against his touch, blocking out the familiarity of it, and purely focusing on the thickness of his fingers. Shit, I’m soaked. Practically dripping. And I know it’s for him. There’s no other explanation for it. Pissed off, hungry Luke Evans can work my body into a frenzy, without even touching me.

  But he is touching me.

  When two fingers enter me and his thumb finds my clit, I drop my head back against the wood and my legs shake beneath me.

  “Oh my God,” I whimper.

  “Do I need to tell you what to do with that?” he asks, his voice laced with arrogance as he glances down at my hand that remains stagnant against his cock.

  “God, I fucking hate you.” I pull his cock free and wrap my hand around it, feeling him thicken in my palm. He grabs the back of my neck, tilting my head up to look at him as I stroke up his length.

  “Yeah, I hate you too, babe,” he grits out, our faces a breath away from each other.

  I ignore the sentiment and narrow in on my task, spreading the pre-cum around with my thumb as my entire body starts to burn up.

  “Harder,” he growls. “Squeeze me, Tessa. You know what I like.”

  I do. I know exactly what he likes. And I hate that I know it.

  I grip him harder, pumping him faster, as he finger-fucks me against the door. I can’t look at him. He’s too close. His mouth is right there, and I know it’ll kill me if I taste him.

  God, please don’t kiss me right now.

  Clamping my eyes shut, I feel my skin flush as his thumb pulses against my clit. I’m so close to coming and I know he’s right there with me. He’s throbbing in my hand, moaning against my ear, and I could let this play out how we both want it to. Just a few more strokes, another slide of his fingers, and it’ll be over.

  This will be over.

&nb
sp; And I’ll regret every second of it.

  “Stop,” I faintly plead. I sound weak. Pathetic. Crippled under his power over me. “Luke, stop.”

  He doesn’t. He twists his wrist and curls his fingers inside me, and I know I need to act fast before it’s too late. Before I let him use me again. Because that’s all he ever did.

  Lies. All of it. Every touch. Every word out of his mouth. This will mean nothing to him, and I’ll be the stupid girl that hoped for more.

  I let his cock fall out of my hand and push against his chest, backing him off me.

  “I said, stop!”

  He stumbles back, gripping the base of his cock with the same hand that just worked me like some cheap whore. I tie my shorts and turn around, flinging the door open and stepping out into the hallway before he has a chance to say anything.

  “God, you’re so sad, Tessa.” I run my hands up and around my neck, tightening my grip and mimicking the hold he just had on me as I move through the house. I dig my nails into my skin until it becomes unbearable, but at least it gives me another pain to focus on.

  Shaking my hands out, and making sure I’m not giving away any indication as to what I just allowed to happen, I step back outside and spot everyone gathered around Mia as she opens her gifts. She’s through most of them, and now I feel even worse than I did seconds ago.

  You’re such a shit. A weak, pathetic shit.

  She smiles up at me as I step up to the table, and I know she sees it. She always sees my discomfort, even when I think I’m doing a damn good job at masking it.

  “Where the hell have you been?” Reed asks me but I wave him off, focusing on Mia.

  The door opens and Luke walks through, T-shirt on and keys in his hand.

  “You leaving?” Ben asks.

  He nods. “Yeah. I’ll see you Monday.” His eyes find mine, and I see every emotion I’m feeling in his face.

  Anger. Hurt. Resentment. Regret.

  I break the contact, watching as my best friend holds up a few bibs for everyone to see. I try to smile, but I can’t. I should be happy right now, celebrating the upcoming birth of my nephew, but I’m not. And I should be familiar with the ache I feel burning inside my chest. The overwhelming pain that has me biting back my tears.